Being someone's best friend is a commitment. You agree to be there for your friend through the good, but more importantly through the bad. They accept you for who you are at your worst, so it's important to give them your best as much as possible. They listen to us gripe and complain, so we need to share laughter with them as well.
Unfortunately I think we take advantage of those people who are closest to us. It's not purposefully done, but I think it has to do with the comfort level we've created. We are extremely comfortable with those whom we deem good friends. So we think to ourselves that these people will always be there for us no matter what. So we might step on each other's toes sometimes, or I might do something I know is going to piss her off, but, she's my best friend, so she'll forgive me (so we think). On the other hand, there are those with whom we are only acquaintances and because we don't know them as well and don't quite have that comfort level, we are extremely careful with the way we behave towards them. As opposed to stepping on toes, we tip toe around them, feeling out a situation before we fully commit.
There's nothing worse than when your best friend gets a boyfriend or girlfriend and hangs you out to dry. I often find myself resenting people I don't even know because I know my friend would be putting in the extra effort if it was the his/her latest love interest. After all, if something were to go wrong in a romantic relationship, we count on our friends to be there to pick us up. One can't expect that if they've ditched all their friends to hang out with the "love of their life." So in situations like these, it hurts to be chosen against.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm innocent. There is a set of events that sticks out in my mind...
Everyone at school knows me as the the grandma. I go to bed at 10:30 or 11 and I take like a million naps throughout the day. So usually, my friends avoid calling or texting me late at night because they don't think I'll be awake. One night I got a call from one of my friends at like 4 in the morning. I looked at my caller ID and couldn't understand why someone who knew me so well would be calling me that late (or early) on a day there was class (or ever). The next day I found out she was on her way home from work and ran out of gas and needed a ride home. I felt terrible. Fast forward one month: I get a phone call at 1:30 in the morning (it's not 4, but still late enough for me to be sleeping). I look at the caller ID and it's someone I haven't talked to in I don't know, 5 months maybe? Out of curiousity, I answer the phone and listen to this person drunkenly babble on for 15 minutes. What? Instead of me piecing together the fact that something must have been wrong because my friends know I'm sleeping at that time, I just rolled over and went back to sleep, yet i absent mindedly listened to someone I don't even really like babble on for 15 minutes. I couldn't even tell you why...
Recent situations have made me examine times like this when I have been less than exceptional in the friendship category. Although I have made mistakes, I'd like to think there have been just as many times that I have been there in moments of need for the ones I love. But having felt ignored makes me realize how important it is to acknowledge our friends and show them that we appreciate them. Whether it's a silly arts & crafts project, a dinner invitation, or a simple, message saying love you, our friends need to know how much they mean to us. So to all my friends (current and past; you know who you are) thank you for all that you've done. I wouldn't have made it this far, and wouldn't be who I am today without your advice, laughter, and friendship. <3
No comments:
Post a Comment