Making decisions can be hard. We make millions of decisions on a daily basis. What should I have for breakfast? Red shirt or yellow shirt? Should I study for tomorrow's test orrrr go hangout with my friends? Every action we perform is a decision we make. We know that the decisions we make impact our daily lives (whether great or small), but we do not always realize that every decision we make also affects the lives of others too. When your roommate goes to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast and there is none left, it is because of the decision you made yesterday morning to have that same cereal. When you decided to study, your friends too decided maybe they should study for another test and as a result you both get As.
When the ball is in your court it's easy to take credit for the good decisions that were made. It also leaves you to take responsibility for the not so good decisions. It's a tough lesson to learn, but it's a necessary reality check.
Unfortunately, sometimes the decisions that other people make affect us in a negative way. One of the most common examples seen today is divorce. Kids and teens are forced to suffer the repercussions of the decision their parents made, a decision that can sometimes scar a kid for life.
This happens a lot in life- being negatively affected by a decision made by someone else. A professor assigns an 8 page paper due next Wednesday, so we have to give up our weekend to write it. Our friend ditches out on the plans we made, so we have to find something else to do and become angry with them.
When making a decision it is important to remember that you must live with what you choose. It is critical to think about the negative outcomes that could potentially arise. Would you be okay if that's what happened? That's what regret is: wishing you had made the other choice. Will you regret that decision if this is the outcome?
We remember those times we were hurt by the impact of others choices. In the case of a divorce there's a "bad" parent and a "good" parent. This affects the way we make decisions, always being in favor of what the "good" parent wants, and disagreeing with anything the "bad" parent says.
It is important to remember there is a time when the ball will be in our court to make the decision, a decision that can severely impact the lives of those people around us. When these people are the ones that have hurt us before, the question becomes "Why should I help them? They've hurt me and now it's time to live with the decisions they've made." Rarely do we think of others when making a decision; we only think about ourselves. But there is a problem when you've studied the options and are choosing one that is not best for the whole. When you are making a decision only because it hurts those who hurt you.
Our pride tends to get in the way. "I've made it this far without you and I don't need you now." Maybe we have come far without their help, and yes, maybe we don't need it, but I think in most scenarios we want it. We wish we had the opportunity to go into the past and get back all the times we needed a parent, a friend, help. Don't be stubborn. It's a hard thing to do, forgive, and we will never forget. It's a process that requires baby steps and time, but it's one well worth it in the end. We can't change the past, but we sure as hell can make up for lost times.
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